The RGUs are up in arms about Four Loko, a malt energy drink (it probably tastes like antifreeze) that's being referred to as Blackout In a Can. Naturally, college students, who are often new to the pleasures of drinking and therefore new to the concept of limits, are binging on it. Never missing a chance to practice their 'concerned face' for the cameras, newsanchors for the sensationalistic media are all over the story like Snookie to a warm body (or a large barnyard animal).
Four Loko is not unlike many energy drink + alcohol combos. The 'upper' aspect of the caffeine makes people feel energetic and often that they can stay up and drink more. Mixed in there is the 'downer,' good old alcohol. It has the same effects as Red Bull and Vodka only nobody has to take the trouble to mix it.
Naturally, stupid people are drinking entirely too much, they are getting sick, parents are demanding answers (you know, because they never saw or heard of anyone drinking too much in college) and they are blaming...*drum roll*...the drink.
As usual, personal responsibility never comes up in this conversation. Who has any use for that? They want this product off the shelves tout de suite.
Now as usual, I have to hearken back to my own college days. Did I drink? Yes. Of course I did! Did I need to get my stomach pumped? No. Did I wrap my car around a tree? Absolutely not. Did I die? Apparently not. Did I turn out to be a functioning member of society? What it means to function remains up for debate, but I'm here nontheless.
You see, I didn't have helicopter parents, but then, my Dad was a cop. While you would assume that would mean he would be tougher on us -- and he was in some aspects, Dad's realm was in reality. He would see first hand what teenagers -- even the supposed 'good kids' -- were up to on every weekend detail he worked. All said, I guess that was nothing compared to some of the other more sinister stuff he'd see on the beat. Presumably as a result, I was constantly being warned about the evils of the world, but I was also being educated about how to make my way through it.
For example, he knew my sister and I were going to drink, but he made it clear that if we did so, we were not to drive. If our friend was driving, they were expected to remain sober. If not, we were to call Dad who would give us a ride home, no questions asked and no lectures. Then again, if we didn't do the right thing, in all probability any number of his cop friends would be on the lookout for us anyway. Ahh, small town America.
The point is, we were expected to take personal responsibility for our actions. We knew what alcohol did, how it affected us, what the meaning of moderation was and by the time we got to college, drinking wasn't a really big deal. So while my friends binged and binged hard, I looked out for them. Maybe the RGUs who sent them away to school should be thanking my parents?
While I don't want to bruise myself, or those who spawned me, with all this back-patting, my point is this: at some point your kids will become adults -- perhaps not perfect ones, but full grown people who need to make their own choices and accept the consequences of their actions. You cannot sanitize their world for them -- it won't work, many have tried and failed. In addition to annoying the rest of us, you're wasting valuable energy fighting an uphill battle that's more about your fears and need for control than it is about raising your children. Once they leave the nest things are out of your control, so maybe it would be better to prepare them for life's experiences in the hopes they'll navigate them responsibly rather than try to send them off in a bubble?
Of course, if your kids are super-stupid, please do the rest of the world a favor: buy them a case of Four Loko and tell them to go for a swim.
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